Remote Madness

The worst thing on earth that can happen to a TV junkie happened to me yesterday. The remote controls went walk-about and didn’t return. Here’s how this thrilling story unfolded.

Every night when I switch off my beloved TV I put the remote controls on either the arm of my chair, the top of a set of cane drawers or in their rightful place in the top drawer of said cane drawers. Night before last it was the arm of my chair. Now we have several remotes of importance. Most important is the DVD remote as that also operates the TV, second is the set-top box/PVR remote and lastly the TV remote. ALL 3 went missing at once.

The children always wake before me and have been trained to quietly turn on the TV and sit quietly and watch. To wake mum before time is to die a slow horrible death, they learnt very quickly. The children are starting to argue over nothing and from what I can gather some form of disagreement broke out over the remotes.

The children went off to school as per normal and I settled into the daily grind at home with Cooper. As per usual once Cooper was napping I went to turn on the TV so I could watch some rubbish recorded from the nights before.

HORRORS – I had no remotes.

I searched the house high and low, I searched toy boxes, I searched the kitchen, lounge, my bed, the kids beds, the laundry, everywhere all to no avail. I called David at work several times to quiz him on their whereabouts. He asked had I looked here?, there?, everywhere? By this stage I was getting withdrawals and was quite frantic. It was obvious that the children had lost them (as they often do). I decided that I would pull them out of school to come home and find my remotes. David forbade me. So instead as soon as I heard the siren for recess (the upside of living across the road from the school) I ran over and found someone in Broden's class, got them to find him. He informed me that “Tyler was the last to have them.” I then phoned the Kindy (on another matter of course) and asked the teacher to ask Ty what he had done with them. “Broden was the last to have them” was his reply. Grrrrrrrrrrr

I don’t think I have conveyed quite how desperate and frustrated and angry and frustrated I was to not be able to operate my TV. I had crap to watch, what else would I do, it not as if there were any housework or washing or ironing that needed doing.

The children came home from school and I put them straight to work but no amount of yelling could make them find the unfindable.

David came home from work and said “I got you some flowers”, in my wonderful mood I growled “why’d you get flowers for” as I turned around to see him standing with a 6 pack of bourbon & cola. Oh that man deserves a medal or perhaps something a little more interesting………

He then starts his search of the house and comes up empty handed. I am close to tears now, nearly 12 hours and my remotes are still lost. Then just as all seemed hopeless my hubby picks up a jacket belonging to the middle child to put it in the wash and bingo, out tumble all 3 remote controls safe and well and no worse for their horrible ordeal.

A wonderful evening of junky TV viewing was greatly enjoyed last night and the children have been banned from touching the remote controls for the rest of their lives.